Writing Can Be Murder

January 6, 2007

“Did you hit your head?”

Filed under: Uncategorized — jenniferelbaum @ 12:23 pm

That’s the first thing out of my friend’s mouth when she calls. No “hi”. No “how are you?”. Just “Did you hit your head?”

Ummm….no?      (I make it a question because if I did hit my head would I remember it or would it be one of those if a tree falls in a forest things?)

“Have you READ your blog?”

Yes! (this, I know has a definitive answer)

“You’re pulling a Jen.”

I am not! (“Pulling a Jen” is not a good thing. It’s the phrase certain friends use when I do something that’s not quite socially acceptable — something which I do with some regularity much to the embarrassment of my husband and the amusement of my friends).

“Are too. You are totally dissing people who don’t know as much as you do.”

“No,” I correct in my most superior tone. “I’m dissing people who are leeches.”

 “They’re not leeches. They’re people.”

“Lazy people. Ungrateful people. I made a resolution to not put up with people’s bad behavior this year. I’m not taking it any more.”

“You’re an idiot.”


“You’re whining because you don’t like whining and you don’t think there’s anything weird about that. What about perspective? Just say no and move on.”

“Shut up.” (Not the best comeback, but I had to be careful because she can out-smartass me.)

Silence.  I guess she expected me to agree with her wisdom. Instead I said,

“So tell me what you think. We were at this party a few weeks ago, holiday party at somebody’s house. And I’m in the middle of this conversation with this guy, and this woman that I despise, waltzes in and just starts chattering away, interrupting, trying to be the center of attention. So I smile, say “hi” and then I turned my back on her to finish the conversation I was having with the guy. Really boring conversation I might add, but I saw no reason to encourage her bad behavior. I ignored her.”

 My friend is chuckling, she’s seen me do this kind of thing before.

“So we get home and D says “You turned your back on her. That was rude.” And I asked him why it was rude for me to do that, but it was acceptable for her to interrupt, and he said that I was ruder because I KNEW what I was doing. She isn’t aware. So it’s okay for her to behave poorly but not me?”

 My friend, who despite being a major smartass, is actually fairly acute, deducted, “So you’re ranting on your blog because of something that happened at a party weeks ago?”

 No! yes Maybe. I’m just so sick of people like her, like that.

“So this is going to be a recurring theme throughout the year?”

I don’t say anything because now I’m feeling really dumb and petty.

“You should have just said you hit your head.” CLICK 


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