Writing Can Be Murder

November 26, 2007

“Oh” and Criminal Minds

Filed under: Uncategorized — jenniferelbaum @ 9:34 am

We watch Criminal Minds (which is far from the best show on TV, but it is about serial killers so I’ve got to watch).

 So this past Wednesday, just before it came on, I went off on a rant that went something like this:

“This season the computer geek girl’s been shot. Last season the Genius Geek guy who weighs less than any of the women on show was kidnapped and tortured. Before that the woman who was replaced by Spunky Brewster was shot. Why isn’t Tackle Man ever shot? If anyone should be shot it’s him, or maybe the dour dud. The writers of this show are sexist…and macho…and it pisses me off.”

DH’s eloquent reply? “Oh.”

Smart man my hubby.

Now the reason I think Tackle Man (Derek Morgan/Shemar Moore) should be shot, is not because I think his pretty face should be marred (no head wounds for him please!) but because he’s the muscle of the team. He’s the first one in the door. He tackles suspects left and right, and yet, I don’t remember him ever getting hurt. Same thing goes for the leader of the team Dour Dud (Aaron Hotchner/Thomas Gibson) who probably needs to be shot in order to wake up from the coma he seems to be in.

So anyway, I go off on this rant and then the writers actually managed to surprise me by giving the Pretty PR Chick (JJ/A.J. Cook) something to do besides make nice to the local cops and look worried.

This means they’re partially redeemed in my book, but I swear, if they have Spunky Brewster (Emily Prentiss/Paget Brewster — I call her Spunky because I can’t ever remember Paget and I know she’s not Punky Brewster) shot or kidnapped during May Sweeps (which come to think of it probably won’t air because of the Writer’s Strike) well then, I’m going to have to do some serious ranting!

November 24, 2007

Top 10 signs you’re on deadline

Filed under: Uncategorized — jenniferelbaum @ 10:13 am

1) Your diet consists of peanut butter and canned soup

2) Your home could be certified as a disaster zone

3) You have a constant headache

4) You’re as wrinkled as a prune OR You haven’t showered for days (Every time I get stuck I keep jumping in the shower, so I’m a prune.)

5) When you read what you wrote the day before, you think “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

6) Your eyes ache/burn/tear constantly

7) You measure your coffee consumption in pots, not cups

8) You’re getting weird about your writing rituals and not deviating from them.

9) You can no longer turn your head because your neck is so stiff

10) Your significant other is wise enough to give you a wide berth.

November 23, 2007

About Thanksgiving Dinner

Filed under: Uncategorized — jenniferelbaum @ 8:49 am

I’m a food snob.  

 As I sat purveying the feast my mother-in-law had prepared, it occurred to me that Thanksgiving Dinner has got to be one of my least favorite meals (which is not a reflection of her cooking because everything was cooked well for what it was) because I am not a fan of most things canned, mashed, mushy or creamy.

 As I shared the other day, I don’t like canned cranberry sauce (it doesn’t matter that there are two varieties).

I hate gravy.

I dislike stuffing cooked in the bird because it’s mushy.

I don’t understand the appeal of that green bean casserole thing. Canned goods, creamy and mushy!

I’m okay w/ sweet potato pie or mashed turnips, but not both — how much orange food that looks like baby food can an adult stomach?

See? I AM a food snob.

What do you love or hate about Thanksgiving dinner?

I LOVE PIE!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

November 21, 2007

In honor of Thanksgiving…

Filed under: Uncategorized — jenniferelbaum @ 3:52 pm

CRANBERRIES (c’mon you weren’t really expecting some sappy post about what I’m grateful for, were you?)

I love cranberries (I’m making a cranberry-apple pie for tomorrow — I’m grateful for pre-made pie crust) so Tuesday night, when it was too late to still be up, I stopped flipping and watched a report about the harvesting of cranberries (have I mentioned that I’m grateful I can blame my curious-gene on the need to do “research:?).

Cranberries are harvested two ways. Dry and wet. The whole berries you buy at the store are harvested dry (like most crops) but the cranberries used in canned cranberry sauce are harvested wet, which means they flood the cranberry bogs and then harvest them with this machine that basically rips them off the plant and then the berries float to the top of the water.

So I watched this whole thing — which included how the berries are first sorted (basically they’re bounced down stairs, I kid you not) and they never explained WHY two different harvesting methods are used.  I spent half the night wondering why. (I am not grateful for my insomnia).

Not a fan of canned cranberry sauce so I thought I’d share my favorite recipe for homemade, which tastes soooo much better.

Fresh Cranberry Sauce

 

1 cup sugar
1 cup water
1   package fresh Cranberries

Combine sugar and water. Mix well.

Bring to boil. Add cranberries, return to boil.

Reduce heat and boil gently for 10 minutes, stirring occasionally. The cranberries will start to pop.

Cover and cool completely at room temperature

Refrigerate

 

Sometimes I add little bits of orange peel or chopped walnuts

 

Have a Berry Happy Thanksgiving!

November 20, 2007

Don’t let the kids watch Sesame Street

Filed under: Uncategorized — jenniferelbaum @ 3:10 pm

The NY Times has a great article about why the early seasons of Sesame Street are not appropriate for today’s toddlers.

 http://www.nytimes.com/2007/11/18/magazine/18wwln-medium-t.html?_r=1&oref=slogin

 I was a deprived child who was not allowed to watch Sesame Street or The Electric Company. Instead I was forced to watch Captain Kangaroo and Romper Room and Mr. Rogers (who was a creepy old man who talked to puppets!)

Color me purple

Filed under: Uncategorized — jenniferelbaum @ 9:15 am

This morning I read over everything I wrote yesterday — it’s awfully purple.

Yesterday’s snow had me in a funk and I compensated by spewing some of the most purple prose I’d ever put to page. Yuck!

 The first mission of the day is clean up those pages!

November 19, 2007

Ebook Reader?

Filed under: Uncategorized — jenniferelbaum @ 4:39 pm

In case you haven’t heard, Amazon will soon be launching their own ebook reader “Kindle”.

Read all about it in Newsweek: http://www.newsweek.com/id/70983

and let me know what you think.

Monday Morning Blues (or Grays or Whites)

Filed under: Uncategorized — jenniferelbaum @ 8:38 am

Yuck! This is the view from my place at 7 this morning.

November 15, 2007

20 years?

Filed under: Uncategorized — jenniferelbaum @ 8:51 pm

Tess Gerritsen has an interesting and inspiring blog post this week about her 20 year road to success. http://www.tessgerritsen.com/blog/

I literally just did a happy dance

Filed under: Uncategorized — jenniferelbaum @ 1:47 pm

because I figured out something about my WIP that had been stumping me for days. Yay!

Whenever you face writer’s block, take a shower. That’s my surefire solution!

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